Northern Monkeys

The Northern Monkeys are on track to achieve the fastest selling album this year, but has anyone heard the secret track yet?

To find it, you must first own the cassette version of the album (and a cassette player). Flip to Side B and play all the way through. After song #12 has finished, leave the tape playing. Just over a day and a half later, you will hear Alex Turner eating what sounds like a packet of Monster Munch... Keep playing. Three more days will go by. Then, this comes up... (Warning: explicit lyrics)

Oh Ah Oh Ah Oh

A while ago I recorded a One Direction parody but didn't get round to filming it. A lot of this was down to the amount of 1D spoofs adorning YouTube at the time (one could argue 1D have been successfully parodying themselves for a while now). Anyway, not one to waste, I thought I'd post the audio up for your delectation. Who knows - I may still do a video.

It was also whilst researching 1D (Is it bad that I've started to like them?) that I came across some interesting One Direction factoids (or... facts). Here goes:

Did you know?

One Direction were originally going to be called Harry and The Other Band Members.

Did you know?

One Direction travel exclusively on rail tracks laid down by evil manager Simon Cowell just moments before. This ensures they only travel in one direction and, unless Simon puts down points, they will never split up.

Did you know?

One Direction's combined age is oddly six more than it was last year. If you listen closely you can hear a one year old joining in on all the 'ba ba's and 'na na's. WTF!?

Anyway, here's the song. It sounds alot like their new one (you know - the one that goes 'oh eh oh' and 'yeah yeah yeah'). I've called it 'Oh Ah Oh Ah Oh". Hope you like it...


Oh Ah Oh Ah Oh

I ask only for the strength to defend my people!

It's Yorkshire Day...! And to celebrate, here are some pictures I found in an old, 1980s SAS self-defense guide last weekend. In it are pictures of a red bearded ne'er-do-well with more than a passing resemblance to a young Sean Bean. You know, Sean "Lord Stark of the 006 Rings Borimir" Bean?

Kapow! It's Bean being stabbed by a pen! Ouch! A printer cable to the cheek! Mnyaaaa! Strangled by extremely tight trousers!

Sadly, I couldn't find any pictures of Bean with arrows or pikes in his leg (spoilers alerts...s), but you get the gist. Here they are in all their awkward glory. I may have added a few captions - this being the internet, after all. I was in two minds whether to spell 'sharp' with an 'e' (as in the series Sharpe) or with an 'ie' (as in the pen). No matter. Enjoy!